Yearning...

So, I can't quite explain it, but lately I've had this like ... bubbling, yearning, feeling inside. No, I'm definitely not pregnant, but good thought. It's more like this hopeful anticipation that something great is going to happen. I don't know why or how it got there, but I just know that I have a feeling. Part of it is my walk with Christ that has me longing for something greater. I am constantly aware of God's desires for me... not that I know exactly what they are (or am obedient to all of them)... more that I know there is something greater going on in and around me. I have the Shane Bernard song in my head "Yearn".... something like this: Lord, I wanna yearn for you, I wanna burn with passion over you and only you...." (it could be a little off, I'm too lazy to look it up)... anyway, I just have this desire for something greater including deeper relationships, meaningful conversations, a spiritual community, living with others, sharing God's love, learning what God's love really looks like, giving to anyone and everyone..... ugh, just this huge urge!!! Might sound silly, but God's at work and I need to move over and let him get this job done! There is still so much selfish in my being that I can't seem to let go of. I'm currently reading "Crazy Love" and there is one part that I keep repeating in my head. It reads (similar to) .. I want Jesus. And when I don't, I want to want Jesus... It's so real to me right now that I cannot love God and others without God's help. Crazy to think that we need God's help to love Him. He's that big :)

The other part of this bubbling anticipation is the fact that we're moving to Fort Wayne in about two weeks. We have a lot of work to do before it feels like home, but I am so ready to have a place to open to others, have dinner parties, football gatherings, playdates, coffee dates, etc... I feel like God has really called and challenged me to live in community and to initiate community in a world that seems so self-sufficient. I get excited about meeting neighbors and friends and joining community groups. The longer I live, the more I realize just how much we were created for relationships. I have been sooooo blessed to live with my parents this past year. We've definitely had our trials, but we've been living as a multi-generational family and that's been eye-opening. I am pretty sure we're one of the only (if not THE only) nation that has this individualistic mindset as far as family units. It's been challenging and rewarding for us to have experienced this. I have definitely learned the value of having family close and being close with family. So, we are ready to move in our living situation, but we're thankful for the love and support my parents have shown even when the house feels too small.

On another note, our little guy turned 1 yesterday. And, he started walking. A later post to update you on that!