Not about me.

Today I re-learned a lesson I've been learning for a long time. I woke up fairly early due to the need to potty... the pressure that a little baby can put on the bladder is ridiculous. After that, I couldn't get comfortable for several pregnancy reasons, so I laid in bed and thought about the day, life, etc. Rowan woke up pretty happy this morning and then it turned south quickly. A lot of fussing, time-outs, etc. So I decided to 'get away' from parenting for 45 minutes to exercise at the Y. I got about 10 minutes into the workout when I noticed the childwatch worker summoning me from the window. Game over. I got Rowan in the car and proceeded to cry. Cried because I was exhausted as a mom, wife, person... and because hormones are crazy during pregnancy. And then I had to come to the humbling realization again, that life is not about me. I don't know why I can't get over this concept, but it's happening. My job at this point in my life is to care for Rowan and be a mom/wife. I am still an individual, but even that part of my life is not really about me. I'm a disciple. My job is to glorify God, someone other than myself. I got mad at myself a little while later for forgetting that it's not about me. Thank you God, for Rowan, who reminds me every day that it's not about me. And that it's about parenting, witnessing, encouraging, discipling, learning, loving, etc. And if there's time at the end of the day or even in the middle when I can be selfish for a little bit, thank you. Sometimes I just need it.